Trying to Find Comfort in Chaos

Hello friends!

This is what my life feels like lately. A series of spinning plates and trying to keep everything going.

Well today I wanted to catch you up on the craziness that is my life instead of listing. I finally got to lampwork for the first time in weeks on Tuesday and Wednesday. So I have a few beads from my session on Tuesday and Ricky is picking up my beads from yesterday while he is "in town" at work. That brings us to  my story....

So if the most recent changes weren't enough more chaos has swirled around me and "left my life in ruins." Yes, I am again being melodramatic, but that is how it feels. So here is what has transpired...... So pretty much over night my life has been flipped upside down again. We found out Saturday afternoon that they have transferred Ricky back "up north" to KC to work at the gym there and that he would start work there on Monday. W...T....F?! You have GOT to be KIDDING ME. So a short 23 days after we re-located our lives to another state and just mere seconds from Ricky's work(he was moved to Olathe about 5 months ago and was driving 45 minutes each way to work 6 days a week) they move him back up north about 5 minutes from where mom lives. We are not LOCKED into a 13 month lease living in Olathe, KS where Ricky will again have to drive 45 minutes to and from work(1 1/2 hours a day, 6 days a week) and spending over $500 on gas. I couldn't believe it! He went from being a general manager to an assistant general manager so it's less in pay than what he was making as well.  Apparently he *should* actually make more money since they are doing way better than the club in Olathe, but that doesn't really help us right this second. We are hopeful that this is a good move for Ricky as far as work is concerned, but this GREATLY affects our living situation here. So lets take a look at that...

Ok so now as far at the living situation goes we got the news Saturday afternoon when we moved my studio stuff up to mom's. It was Ricky's day off, but he was asked to come in for a meeting where he found out he was being transferred. So we find this out late on Saturday. I call the apartment office to tell them the situation and ask for help. Our lease was supposed to "finalize" on April 1st. They were closed on Sunday for Easter so we had to wait until Monday morning to even talk with the manager to see what could be done. Ricky goes into the office for her to tell him that *maybe* we could give them a 30 day notice from that day and that we could pay the last month and be let out of our lease due to the situation. Ok cool an option, but we would have to wait until she talked to the District Manager for the "ok". So they talk, we wait, we don't hear anything. I call 15 minutes before they close to find out that we didn't get an answer yet and we have to wait until Tuesday. So as you might imagine those were the longest days of our life, well at least for me. I HATE waiting and especially on something that so greatly affects our lives. So Tuesday we finally get an answer... Um.. yeah she was full of SHIT apparently. That was NEVER an option and we were, well, just plain FUCKED. Yep, we were locked into a 13 month lease not even one whole month after we moved and he got a job transfer! I just couldn't believe it. Really? Even with a job transfer and being able to prove it before 30 days there was NOTHING we could do??? I guess not....

Breaking a lease means $1700 we don't have plus more money to put down on a place so another at least $1700. So now here we are... Stuck here when our Ricky's job has been moved 45 minutes away, again.... 

The other news I had for you all is that we on Saturday we had moved my studio stuff to mom's basement again and I was going to work there for 2 days a week. I was going to work a day, stay over night, work the next and return "home" to Olathe. Well as you can see even that plan came to screeching halt once we found out the situation with the apartments too. I thought ok when we had the "30 day option" I could just ride in with Ricky and make beads every day til we moved. Then we find out that is BS too. So now the "plan" if we can even make any kind of plans without shit changing AGAIN is to work at mom's for a "double session" (work 2-3 hours, break to eat, and work another 2-3) twice a week. So Monday I would work a "double" ride home with Ricky, he would be off Tuesday, I would ride in again on Wednesday to work a "double" and then spend the remainder of the week here in Olathe. The shitty thing is that Ricky would be driving in the rest of the week while I would be stuck here in Olathe for 4 days alone with no car where I don't really know anyone.

 I don't like it... Not one little bit. I don't like the idea of being 45 minutes away where if anything happened Ricky couldn't come to my rescue. 

We are kind of out of options... Apparently we are still able to do our transfer to a 3rd floor for free, but now I feel badly cause this second room we have is pretty much a waste of space since my studio is at moms. I am hoping the 3rd floor will give me some quiet at least.

One of Ricky's co-workers talked with us seeing if there was a possibility of taking over our lease so he and a friend could move in here and be across the street from the gym. He kind of called and asked some hypothetical questions, but we don't have the full story. It sounded like we could kind of transfer it, but Ricky  and his co-worker would be on the lease. Well if you are already on one lease you can go get another lease somewhere else. That means we would have to try to get a lease under my name to move up north to be closer to Rickys work and where I would honestly rather live. This still isn't a very good option. I don't really feel comfortable with this having 2 places in our names type deal. So now what?? *sigh* 

It's hard times guys. I know it's not the end of the world and surely someone else has it worse than me. It just feels like my world is falling apart in my eyes. I just wanted a nice solid place to call "home" and get settled in. I wanted a fenced yard for my dogs, a basement for my studio and just a small little space that we didn't have to share with anyone else. Simple needs, but for some reason seem like an impossible request. I have felt like we have been living like nomads for the past 2 and a half years. With our "year vacation" to Portland, Oregon, then our year "pit stop" at moms, and then not even being able to settle in here. Living out of boxes is so unsettling for the spirit. No where feels like home. That is a hard thing for me. I need my own space to call home. I hate change... even if it is for the greater good. It's hard. 

So onto the next plan, if there is one. It's hard to even want to try to make a plan or try to make a "normal" since everything keeps changing. So I guess the schedule for mom's is set so I can still keep making beads which is good, but now these other 4 days... Long days in another city with no car. Hmmm... I have office work to do and jewelry to make, but not really 4 whole days worth. I would so rather take all of that time and dump it into bead production, but such is life... So here is my short list of ideas to fill in the other days.. Staci mentioned this First Friday Etsy team that Marsha Neal was doing. I never got into too many teams cause I really hated "living in front of a screen". I much prefer person to person contact instead of glowing screens all day long. Oh well. It looks like I have the time now, right? I may check it out. 

Staci also mentioned to me about submitting tutorials and things to magazines. I have done some submissions in the past, but they were for ad space instead of pay(which kind of sucks since you still have to pay several hundred dollars to do an ad). So I may actually branch out and do some jewelry tutorials that way. Why not, right? I have not really delved into these things very much. 

What I did keep from you all is that I have been working on a few tutorials behind the scenes. Some "simple" things that would be a good thing for bead makers, jewelry designers and even some options for people that don't design, but love our beads and jewelry. I had to put a teeny halt on that stuff for a few days while I deal with life, but I am excited to get back to it and see where it takes me. I have really enjoyed the work so far and look forward to it's release.

So sorry for the wa wa blog, but I just needed to get it out. I wanted to share some of my struggles with you so you know where I have been lately(in case you noticed the lack of my presence on Facebook ;P ). Well I suppose I should get to it. I have a few beads with me to re-list in the shop! Let me show you a pic real quick!

I posted this pic of the first beads out of my kiln in weeks! They are actually going pretty quickly! I sold 2 teals, both blacks, and 1 ivory focal last night already! I have 1 teal(the one in the bottom left), 4 ivories and 2 blacks(in the kiln at mom's house to be picked up today). 

I will be re-listing the ivory ones today. I wanted to get another pic of the black ones in a pile, and I have some other beads that will get re-listed tomorrow when I receive my load of beads from yesteardays session. Stay tuned for those. You can always feel free to contact me about the beads here if I have not gotten something you wanted listed yet ;)

See you tomorrow! Thanks for stopping by.

xo Genea